with love
I love to give gifts. I just don’t like to pay for them.
It’s fun to give gifts, and I try to specialize in getting people stuff they want. It’s even better if it’s something they want, but didn’t want to, or think to, get for themselves. I like shopping for gifts. I like wrapping gifts. I like keeping gift secrets and surprising people with gifts. I like when people are excited by gifts – when they can’t wait to do stuff with their gifts. It’s a great feeling.
But whew. Sometimes, it’s hard to make that happen. My best friend got married a few months ago, and between the bridesmaid’s dress, gas for travel to and from the wedding, taking time from work, the shoes, paying for my class… my wallet was wore out just thinking about shopping. At the time, I was just broke. Now it would have come out better if I’d put a little to the side ahead of time here and there. But sometimes, I don’t have a little to put to the side (especially when I don’t plan ahead – shame on me). She got married at the worst possible time for me to try to afford a nice gift. Then, of course, by the time I got paid, all the affordable gifts on the registry were already paid for. I’m sorry, but I can’t spend more money on you than I spent on myself in the last three or four months, homie, even though we go way way back. Time passed, other priorities have predominated my focus (my class), and throw in miscellaneous other worthless excuses here – I still have yet to get the happy couple a token of best wishes. I will now, though. I have more time to shop and I’ll find the money. Of course, all of this could have been avoided if she’d postponed the wedding to fit within my pay period! (I know, I know, I’m wrong. But at least mildly amusing.)
I’m going home to visit my cousin, his wife, and their new baby girl soon, and when I go, I’ll be sure to come bearing gifts for the little one. And my parents’ 33rd anniversary is soon, so I’ll have to pick up something for them too. Add that to the gas, munchies, and whatever we do when we get down there (beach? movies?) and I’m really in for some spending. I might as well start crunching my numbers now.
I would complain outright, but it feels wrong to do so – I’m happy to be going home and seeing family. And they didn’t ask for their gifts, nor will they be upset if they don’t get anything. Gift-giving is good for me. Generosity strengthens my heart. And reinforces my understanding of my blessings – those who can afford to give gifts are truly blessed. It’s something I need to do to fend off my debt-slayer’s inner Scrooge. So I will give. Cheerfully.
naked check register
I generally check my balance about twice a week online. I want to see which transactions have cleared, whether or not my manual checkbook register is up to date (’cause every once in a while, I misplace a receipt), and whether or not I should curtail my spending. I tend to know these things before I go online to check my primary checking account, but it gives me peace of mind to log on and see the numbers right there in front of my face.
There was once a time in college where I hardly cared. I would go to the ATM just to get a receipt showing my balance because I didn’t know what it was. The running tally in my head was always off, but the question was always "by how much?" That didn’t last long. I couldn’t afford bounced-check fees. After about my second bounced check, reading some Glinda Bridgforth personal finance books (and finding out about Chex Systems from Angela Nissel’s hilarious The Broke Diaries book), I was a changed young woman. My checkbook register became my friend, and I’d just carry all my debit card receipts until I logged them in my book. It’s a system I’m dependent on now. I’m in no rush to graduate to Money or Qui*ken. I tried it once… it didn’t work out. I’m figuring that if it ain’t broke, I won’t fix it.
There are times, however, when I’ve been carrying around receipts and it’s been a few days, and even though I know I paid all my bills to date, and I know there’s a little something in the account just in case, I’m just not comfortable. Those of you who are used to wearing watches know the feeling. Without one, your wrist feels naked. And yeah, you could glance at a wall clock, or maybe whip out a cell phone, or even ask someone the time, but you just know you would feel better if you’d remembered to put your watch on that morning. That’s how I feel sometimes when I need to log on and check my bank account.
So even though I know my rent, car note, and other bills are paid, and even though I know my automatic savings deposits are getting wired appropriately, and even though I know there’s a little buffer in my checking account to avoid unexpected issues, like a math error (oh so rare) or an EZ pass withdrawal (those sneaky petes), I’ll be checking my bank account against my check register today. Just for GP. And it’ll feel good to see that everything is as it should be.
…Do I need counseling? 
minimum
I know that I’ve made a conscious decision to focus on one of my debts at a time.
I know that it’s a good idea to kill a debt I can handle within a relatively short amount of time because it will help boost my confidence. I also know it’s good to kill a debt that has the highest interest rate. It just so happens that my old credit card debt fits the bill for both. So I know I’m doing a good and smart thing by putting my muscle into killing my old credit card debt. I’ve got the balance going down by hundreds every month. That debt will be gone long before this time next year. I know it’s going to feel good. And I know I’ll be glad when it’s done. And I know it’ll be a psychological boost to only owe student loans and my car instead of, among other things, some groceries I bought, ate, and digested way back in 1999.
But I also know that it sucks to actually pay about $265 on my five-figure student loans, only to see my balance go down about $59 dollars. I probably owe no less that what I owed at graduation at this rate, and I finished school years ago.
It’s OK though. I’ll try not to worry too much about it. When I’m finished killing this old credit card debt, the student loans are next. I have two – a big one at less than 3% and another smaller one at 8.5%. The 8.5% loan is next. And when I kill it, it’s going to feel really, REALLY good.
early to rise
Back to work today. I was great up until I got home (and comfortable) and had to go back out into the world to run an errand. I think it was then that I realized how exhausted my body was, how hard my head had been pounding since four o’clock, how much I wanted to sit and vegetate and just do nothing. Behind this final exam and the studying, the traveling and the general hecticness of my schedule over the past week or so, I feel entitled to take a breather, not run to the store, or here and there. I’m tired. PMSing. Hot. When my errand was done, I went to the corner store and spent five dollars on a bag full of junk food, came home and ate it instead of real food, because one, I am not cooking, and two, it’s too hot in here to cook even if I wanted to. And on top of all that, I have to be at work an hour earlier tomorrow because we have a big deal to work on under time pressure, so I have to show up early with my A game.
This afternoon, when my boss "asked" if I could show up early, I said, "Of course," with enthusiasm as if I’d already planned on it. ‘Cause guess what? When it really comes down to it, ain’t nothing going on but the rent… and the bills… so my PMS-having, quarter-bag-of-barbecue-corn-chips eating self will be setting the alarm back an extra hour. Because being a team player is more lucrative than sleeping in.
I read a blog (wish I could remember whose) about making sacrifice to make changes in your life. When I have days like this, I am reminded of the big quality of life picture that underlies all of this planning and debt repayment. The peace of mind of freedom from debt, retirement funds in the bank, and ample provision for my present and future family’s well being is worth sacrifice. If I ever want to get my career to a point where I can have my subordinate come in early to assist me so that I can leave work early on the day of a big deal, I’m going to have to get up early. I’m going to have to get to work early. I’m going to have to learn how to take the lead, how to answer the tough questions, how to make things happen like my boss does.
So um, yeah. I’ll be going to bed earlier than usual tonight.
time to make the donuts
(This originally posted before, but it wasn’t supposed to – this blog has been on auto-pilot for a while, and it posted this message by mistake… so, here it is again, on time this time!)
This marks the beginning of my self-imposed hiatus from all things internet. The internet is a major distraction for me – lately, it’s my favorite source of information and entertainment. However, my class will be ending soon. Know what that means… FINAL EXAM AHEAD. This exam could be life-changing, and it will directly impact my ability to significantly increase my income. Therefore, I have to take a break from this blog. At least until the latter half of this week!
If it’s your first time here, or you haven’t read all the posts, feel free to traipse through my archives and categories.
And now, I have to back… away… from the… key… board…
good news and good news
I like good news. First, in case you haven’t seen my comment in the last entry, my old but treasured phone – the one I thought had gone to the big pile of electronics in the sky – is fully functional, and will serve as a super duper backup in case my new nifty phone is put out of commission. This is great news because I don’t have to buy another new phone to serve as a backup, and it’s also great because I don’t have to purchase phone insurance every month and go through that money-sucking racket.
Other good news: In case you haven’t noticed my progress bar over to the right, I have fully funded my miniature emergency fund! $1,000 is a nice round number, large enough to pay for any of my insurance deductibles, any surprise hospital co-pays, enough to buy anything I might need in an emergency (say, some freak accident happens, all my clothes catch on fire (heaven forbid it), and my insurer doesn’t cut me a check that day, but in the meantime, I need clothes for work and some drawls underwear). I’m not finished with my emergency fund, but I’m not as pressed to feed it right now with regular contributions while I’m still in so much debt. As I get windfalls, like the $50 gift my dad gave me for no reason a few weeks ago, or my income tax refund, they’ll go into my savings.
This means that I can now give myself permission to take the money I was regularly socking away into my savings and put it towards the faster repayment of my old credit card debt (which, if you hadn’t noticed, is up to 19% paid from the 15% I’d paid as of last count). According to my projections, between regular payments, extra paychecks in August and January, and a likely payraise at the close of this year, I should be able to pay it all off a few months earlier than August ‘08. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was gone by Mother’s Day, or even Easter… or could it be? Even President’s Day, LOL! This is so exciting!
Plop!
I called myself saving money by calling my cell phone company and getting rid of my text messaging package and the insurance on my phone. The way I figured it was that I’d been paying for insurance for over a year now. Add that to the deductible I’d have to pay to replace my phone with the same model, probably refurbished (because you know they only seem to make handsets for maybe three months before they’re obsolete already), and there you have it - I would be paying too much for an obsolete phone, where for the same amount, I could’ve just gotten a new phone, with Blu_tooth, which I wanted but didn’t have. I figured that I would cancel the insurance and buy a little cheap phone on the ‘net to serve as a backup phone in case something ever happened to my primary handset – I could take the memory chip out and just put it in the already-paid-for backup phone to give me some time to save or budget enough money to buy another nice phone. I figured that a $20 or $30 backup phone plus a new phone is cheaper than paying insurance every month for years just to have to pay a deductible for an old phone or buy a new phone anyway. I cancelled the text messaging plan while I was at it, because I hardly even send that many text messages – I just didn’t like feeling constricted by not having a plan. Not bright. My mantra is every little bit helps. So I called the company and got rid of both.
Fast forward not even two weeks later. I was sitting on the couch and my boyfriend came in. I jumped up to give him a big bear hug, and as I got up from the couch, the phone slipped off the couch… into a glass of water that I had on the floor right in front of the couch, right in the path of the phone’s descent. Plop! (It actually made that sound.) Damn.
I tried to save it by drying it out in some rice overnight (something my boyfriend read somewhere about drying out electronics), but although the power works, the keypad and buttons died as a casualty of what I’ll call the not-quite death-defying leap into a glass of water.
I need my cell phone. I’m on leave from work this week, but they could call me at any time with questions. I didn’t get my backup handset yet like I’d planned. And if I go anywhere driving, I want my phone with me for safety. By the way – I don’t have a landline – don’t need one, and I don’t want to pay for one. So there I was, in the store, looking for a new handset. It stung and smarted, too, because I really, really liked my old cell phone. Matter of fact, it’s sitting in rice right now in my hopes that the keypad and stuff will somehow recuperate so it can be a backup. I wound up getting a new version of the same phone I had. There is no insurance on my new phone. The way I see it, the insurance is a waste. Even if I still had it, I couldn’t have received the same phone I have – they don’t sell it anymore. I still would’ve been out for the $50 deductible and approximately $100 I’ve already spent on insurance. I would’ve had to haggle with the insurer (which isn’t fun – I know ‘cause I’ve done it too many time before I stopped getting flip-top phones) to get some phone I wouldn’t have wanted anyway. Either that, or do what I wound up doing – get a new phone at full price.
Total damage: $246.08 for the phone and a car charger. That’s $246.08 that I can’t save or use to pay off old credit card debt. That’s $246.08 that I owe AMEX. Plus the $100 in cancelled insurance policy payments over the past year and change, for nothing. For the record I’m paying it by the end of this month, and it’ll make those particular two weeks $246.08 tighter. This comes out of my paycheck, not my emergency fund. Which means I won’t be putting extra down on my debt balance like I’d planned. Drat.
I’m going to be really really careful between now and when my backup gets here. This time, I’m getting a backup.
8 Random Things about Sistah Ant
I was tagged by Rad at Daddy Financials, and it’s about time this got around to me – I was feeling left out. LOL!
1. I skipped kindergarten so I was always a year younger than all my classmates.
2. Things I’ve done to get over old boyfriends include painting a kitchen, adopting a kitten, taking up knitting, and getting off the sidelines at open mics.
3. One of my favorite movies has always been Back To The Future (all three of ‘em). I love the way they changed Hill Valley (the town the time travel takes place in) over and over again! One thing my boyfriend did for me that made me smile was that he paid attention and remembered the time I randomly said this one day, and then he surprised me with the DVD box set for Christmas – he’s a wonderful friend.
4. I was in my college’s gospel choir.
5. I’ve been keeping a diary in some form or another since 1987.
6. I’m a Pisces born on the Aquarius-Pisces cusp.
7. I LOOOOOVE ITALIAN FOOD. Really, anything with marinara sauce makes me happy.
8. I have three piercings in each of my earlobes, but I only wear one set of earrings at any given time. That’s what happens when teenagers go to the mall with hardly any money and nothing to do but kill time by putting unnecessary holes in their bodies. Good thing I never could think of a tattoo that I would want on my body forever.
I have no one to tag – everyone’s already done this meme. LOL! So have a great day, and go watch some Marty McFly. Rent it from the library – it’s cheaper. (Gotta put something financial in the mix!)
scrapin’
I know I said that I was going to set up a special account devoted to being able to shop for better clothes. I really intend to do that. Because I just did something that really made me realize that just because it’s not at the top of my priority list, I’m not allowed to dismiss it as unimportant.
I just pulled a black Sharpie marker out of my desk, and used it to fill in the places on my black belt that have cracked and are showing the bright brown fibers underneath the finish of the belt. It’s passing, but I still smell Sharpie marker. Which reminded me that before I left home for work today, I took two safety pins and pinned up the hem of my right pants leg so that the hem, which has fallen out in the front because the thread has come out, wouldn’t fall. I would have worn the other clean thing I have, a skirt, but its hem has fallen out too, and because of class, studying, and cleaning, I haven’t had time to do my two weeks’ worth of laundry (or the inclination to do any mending, which might be good, ‘cause hems are not my forte). All day I’ve been hoping that no one would see the two very small shiny dots at the bottom of my pants leg – if you look, you can see the spot where the safety pins are grabbing the fabric from the inside of the pants leg. They are very small spots, and my pants are gray, but come on. I’ve got to do better than this.
I have dresses and suits that I don’t wear. I’ve got jewelry from an ex that I don’t have any inclination to wear again. I have a few other little things I have no intention of using again. I think I might get on EBay or Craig’s list or even on the phone to a consignment shop, so that I can get my shopping fund started. Because this is ridiculous.
If this makes you laugh, it’s OK. One of these days, I’m going to think this is funny, too.
insurance
So now that I have renter’s insurance, I have as much insurance as I’m going to need, which I realize now I haven’t seen in any articles talking about emergency funds (outside of the admonishment to have enough to pay deductibles). As I mentioned before, you can’t expect a $1,000 emergency fund to help if your car is destroyed or your stuff goes up in smoke. I have life insurance, long and short term disability insurance, auto insurance for accidents and theft, various warranties on the condition and parts of my car, medical, vision, dental, and now renter’s insurance. My $1,000 is enough to cover any deductible I have, plus another $500 cushion just in case (none of my deductibles for anything are higher than $500). If you have an emergency, chances are the deductible won’t be the only expense you have. That’s why it’s important to keep your emergency fund growing, even if it’s not your biggest priority. Every little bit helps. $1,000 was my target for the short-term, but it’s not my end goal.
I know what it’s like to not have health insurance. I spent about two and a half years without it in the past five years, and every illness threatened to put me in a deeper financial hole than I’m in now. So many people have jacked up credit because of medical bills, and I was just hoping and praying that I wouldn’t be one of them. I was blessed with good health and no accidents, so I didn’t incur that problem. And now, I’m hoping my insurers will be faithful if something happens.
I have a cousin whose parked car was hit by a drunk teenager in the middle of the night, right in front of his house. The car was a total loss. Neither his nor the kid’s insurer wanted to pay for another car. And he was stuck with the remainder of the loan for a car that no longer exists. If he’d had total loss insurance, this could have been avoided. I have another cousin whose credit is destroyed over $20,000 in medical bills incurred for an ambulance ride and emergency care when she drowned in a lake a few summers ago with no medical insurance. This is the kind of stuff that could derail my efforts to get out of debt.
That’s why I’m insured to the hilt. (And why I really intend to become a stronger swimmer!)
